Two Themes for These Yamim Noraim 5768

Yikes! Ahh! Awe! It's the Jewish New Year season. What does this conjure up for you? For me, I feel blasting late summer sun soaking through my new woolen jumper as I mill about the entrance to the movie theatre that our congregation rented each year to accommodate the swell of High Holiday service attendees. I enjoyed being there shmoozing with my best friends and synagogue family, and strangely enough, I was also drawn by the liturgy of the service inside the auditorium. I loved the nusachs and rich scarlet colours of the room; the white crowns and robes of the cantor and rabbi bookmarked the roles of priest and rituals for this annual serious encounter with G_d, and that had meaning for me, that this was a special time of reflection and connection.

I drifted from the theatre lobby into a seat next to a parent or aisle and sank into the series of familiar re-enactments of rituals and liturgy, but things kept jarring me and distracting me from contemplation and reflection. The things were all those empty, repetitious, uninteresting and uninspiring terms that were peppered throughout the day; G_d the King, Repentance, Remembrance, Judgment, Sin, Forgiveness, Atonement; what a heavy list! And I would question myself, "Did I do all that last year?" I lost grip of why I was there and came away with pleasant memories of a social event, but wishing it had been more meaningful deep inside somewhere.

I don't know how many of you can relate to this feeling, but I took the opportunity of presenting today in order to study further into the meaning and purpose of the Yamim Noraim and to further investigate and illuminate this personal gap in High Holiday fulfillment.

Here is what I found:

Two themes have jumped out at me for the Holidays:

Missing the Target
'Build Bridges, not Barriers' (Terminology of my own invention which I call, 'The 3-B's'“)

I've designed a schematic handout for you to refer to (see bottom of this file).

First, I'd like to tackle the terminology that creates the obstructions to my observing and benefiting from the holiday season. Let's begin with Rosh HaShanah: the terms for this day are G_d sits in Judgment ('Le-el orekh din') as King ('Malkhuyot') and Remembers ('Zikhronot') our Sins ('Het'). Whoa, what image could be more effective for shutting doors to G_d or anyone, for that matter, than a King watching over in judgment and remembering our sins? The original concept was based on the ancient ritual of a ruler watching his armies parade past for review. How is this relevant to us as modern individuals? By taking up this image and adding to it that although G_d watches and reviews us, it is not for punitive reasons, but because we ourselves make our decisions, and sometimes we make mistakes and don't realize it or know what to do about it. So, to me, Rosh HaShanah is when we take stock of our year with G_d.

Ok, now what about that ugly word, 'sin'? The Hebrew term is Het, which literally means an arrow that has missed its target. I like this concept; we are given the targets in the Torah, but sometimes we miss them. What happens now? Hopefully, with some self-evaluation and perhaps guidance from a mentor, we try again.

After Rosh HaShanah, the Days of Awe begin, the period of reflection after the day of Judgment when we remember the times we've missed the target. The reflection is 'repentance' in English, or 'teshuvah', because we return 'la-shuv' to G_d. Here, G_d does not blame, but is loving, caring and passionate about bringing our shots back to the target next time. It is a time of opportunity for change and improvement.

The third and last period of the Yamim Noraim is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. I've heard people try to lighten and make this heavy phrase more relevant by parsing it out and calling it the Day of 'At-one-ment', but I find this a bit too cheeky and self-indulgent. For me, it is the day when I step into my new plan to do it better next time, to admit the shortfall and move past it. But, it isn't so easy, is it? It is very, very hard to return to a past wrong or mistake that was so gladly left behind months ago, and purposely reflect on it, especially if that remorse was glossed over or avoided at the time. This is not punishment meted out by G_d; it is the pain of growth.

The discomfort or pain of remorse or regret is actually helpful, because without it, we would not be sure, or even care, if we strayed or made mistakes. There are people who cannot feel this, and they are unable to know when they commit harmful acts. Most of us are able to make ourselves better people, though, and we can look forward to the forgiveness from G_d for straying and returning to the targets of Torah. This is 'teshuvah'. According to Maimonides, the test of whether you're successful in your pursuit of change is if you find yourself in the same situation as before and do not repeat the same mistake. The cycle of change is complete.

Almost—what about all the guilt and remorse, how do you dispose of that psychic garbage? Well, there are a few rituals that we Jews have devised for that purpose: the Scapegoat of the Bible that ran the people's guilt into the wilderness, Taschlich where we toss it into open water, and the rituals of Yom Kippur that reassure that forgiveness or pardon 'selichot' are available.

What is so important about forgiveness? Forgiveness is the light at the end of the tunnel when you embark on the path of teshuvah or change. And I think this is where my 3-B's“ come in: next time you are faced with a decision on how to act, will your action of choice Build a Bridge or a Barrier to the future for you? This exercise works, whether it guides you toward how you respond to a person, or to a situation. I believe in Bridges.

During the Holidays, I will be thinking about how I could build a bridge where one is needed to bring distance or differences created by a past mistake or oversight together again; and for the future, try learn to be mindful to build bridges and avoid barriers.

Shabbat Shalom, and L'Shana Tova

Susan Katz