At
the unveiling of the headstone of Barry Goodman
Kymn Goodman
May
2010
The headstone is so much more than a
marker. It is a lasting tribute to the person you loved, who loved you back,
and a monument to their identity. How to find the right words? How on earth, do
you do it justice? I chose to honour my beloved with references to his names,
his love and his art.
Baruch Tov
ben Bluma v'Shlomo
June 5th 1965 - July 25th
2009
Your love is a blessing
forever stitched in our hearts.
A Hebrew blessing begins with the
word Baruch,
Barry's name. When we say a blessing, we thank God for something. I always said
I felt Barry coming into my life was a gift from God and I was very grateful.
Blessing also describes the simultaneous giving & receiving there was in
relationship with Barry. It was truly a blessing to know him and to love him.
He was so interesting, so entertaining, so humourous and always surprised me with his vast knowledge
about so many things. To be known by him was also a blessing, for he could be
so kind, so compassionate, so giving, and a very loyal friend. He tried, very
hard, to also be a really good dad. I wanted the word "love" etched
in his stone because Barry had a great capacity to love me, and others. He had
the perfect arms for it too. With his passing, it is love that is left behind
in his wake.
There is a list of the roles he
played in life: Loving husband, father to Jason & Mark, zaidie
to Rory, son to Bunny, brother to Esther & Myron, and artist. The list is
by no means complete for he was also son-in-law to Fay, uncle, cousin,
brother-in-law, and dear friend to many. Though not common, I included artist
in this list because it was the closest relationship he had with anyone. It was
with himself, who he was in solitude; it was his journey and his purpose. For
Barry, there was no distinction between Barry the artist and Barry the man.
They were one and inseparable; the creative artist and
the artistic man. He saw everything in life through the eyes and the hands of
an artist.
Chiselled on the side of the stone
in front are two stitched hearts, to emphasize his place eternally and forever
in our hearts. They reference his art and stitched portraits. It was ironically
one of the very few designs that are allowed in this cemetery, and it was
perfect. Next to the hearts is "a good man" which refers to his
middle name Tov meaning good and our last name
Goodman, of course. He was also a Gevalt Holy man, and a deep & critical-thinking man,
and a creative, inspiring man, and so much more. But all I could fit on was a
good man. You'll have to fill in the rest when you look at it.
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