Mattot

Denying One's Past

Adapted from Rabbis Shefa Gold and Shafir Lobb

Israelite men begin to have intimate relationships with Midianite women. Upset by this turn of events, Moshe raises an army and wages total war against the Midianites, ordering his soldiers to kill all Midianite males, and all Midianite women who have "known" a man. For most readers of Torah, Moshe's overreaction is shocking and upsetting.

On the level of peshat, the surface narrative of the Torah, there is a plausible scientific explanation for Moshe's orders. This is the only way he knows to solve a public health crisis brought on by contact with the Midianites. The Midianite women carried a disease that was transmitted from male to male genetically, and from male to female through an exchange of bodily fluids.

But the Torah is not just a story about someone else living in some other time. It is a map of the inner landscape. Thus, we must take seriously our shock at Moshe's cruel orders and ask what facet of our own experience is brought to light in that moment of shock.

When Moshe first left Egypt as a young man, he himself became a Midianite. He married Tzipporah, a Midianite woman. Zipporah's father Yitro became Moshe's teacher. Legend says Moshe lived in Midian as a shepherd for 40 years, learning and growing into his calling as prophet.

When Moshe reacts so cruelly towards the Midianites, we see a man who is at war with himself. His response to the crisis is to violently reject a part of himself. If we can observe this in Moshe, perhaps we can observe this in ourselves. When we do, we create an opening where the spiritual work of healing can begin.

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