Beha'alotecha
Complain, Complain, Complain!
by Rabbi Shefa Gold
The mixed
multitude among the Israelites began to have strong cravings, and the
Israelites once again began to weep. 'Who's going to give us some meat to eat?'
they demanded. "We fondly remember the fish that we could eat in Egypt at
no cost, along with the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now
our spirits are dried up." (Bamidbar/Numbers
11:4-6)
The spiritual
challenge of Beha'alotecha is to hear the murmurings and rebellions of our ancestors and recognize
them as our own places of enslavement calling for freedom and healing.
When I witness my
ancestors' complaints, I must listen to my own bitter whining. Listening deeply
with compassion, I hear the fear inside my voice and I remember when that fear
was born. Then I know that my spiritual work will be to heal the wounds that
gave birth to that fear and to work at cultivating trust.
When I witness my
ancestors' lust for meat and for the food of Egypt, I turn to investigate my
own cravings. When I discover a hunger that seems never to be satisfied; a
thirst that is never quenched; a hole inside me that can never e filled; then
my spiritual work consists of investigating that craving by entering into that "hole"
and experiencing the emptiness within. This will lead me to Truth.
When I witness my
ancestors' weariness with their journey, I turn to examine my own lack of
energy for spiritual practice. When I hear their expressions of doubt in the
leadership of Moses, my work becomes that of unmasking the face of my own doubt
and coming to understand how and why I sometimes silence the voice of the
prophet within me.
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