Toldot

Asking Why

Adapted from Rabbi Jordan D. Cohen

Rivkah has a difficult pregnancy, and cries out: Im keyn, lammah zeh 'anokhi? (Genesis/Bereisheet 25:22) Literally, this incomplete sentence means, "If so, why then do I…?"

Rashi (1040-1105) explains the phrase to mean, "If the pain of pregnancy be so great, why is it that I longed and prayed to be pregnant?" In this reading, she seems to blame not God but her own naiveté for getting her into this uncomfortable situation. It is a "Be careful of what you ask, because you just might get it" type of situation.

Ibn Ezra (1089-1164) suggests that Rivkah went around to all the women of the community to ask if they had experienced such pain in pregnancy. They all answered, "No." Realizing that her pregnancy is different, Rivkah cries out, seeking to know why her experience is unusual.

Ramban (1194-1270) describes Rivkah's anguish as reflecting a much more existential anxiety. He translates Rivkah's words as a challenge to her very existence in the world: "If it be so, why do I live?" That is why Rivkah goes l'drosh Elohim, literally "to inquire into God."

Rather than turning away from God, Rivkah turns to God, but to challenge God; to find meaning out of her anguish. Rivkah does not turn away, asking, "Why is God doing this to me?" but rather she turns to God, asking, "What is the meaning of this experience?"

Sometimes we yearn for the simple faith that we imagine our ancestors experienced in a less complicated time. Rivkah reminds us that no such time existed. Asking "Why?" and "What does this mean?" have always been acts of faith for our ancestors and for us.

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